I put in 3 1/2 years of my life at a company that I am equally grateful
to be rid of as well as for the experience. It was there that I learned many new valuable skills that will surely lead to perdition. But the one thing I am not grateful for is how it changed me in my ability to deal with certain situations. Now, while I feel I am better equipped these days to exercise a bit more judgment and diplomacy in most circumstances, I find it increasingly more difficult to accept things for the way they are. Example; I was recently addressed by a manager in a manner that I immediately deemed grossly inappropriate.
to be rid of as well as for the experience. It was there that I learned many new valuable skills that will surely lead to perdition. But the one thing I am not grateful for is how it changed me in my ability to deal with certain situations. Now, while I feel I am better equipped these days to exercise a bit more judgment and diplomacy in most circumstances, I find it increasingly more difficult to accept things for the way they are. Example; I was recently addressed by a manager in a manner that I immediately deemed grossly inappropriate.
Granted, the way I was addressed is status quo for the industry and was not issued in a way in which to foster malicious intent. Still, I found myself experiencing great offense and felt that I deserved an apology. The mere notion that I felt this way at all was not completely absurd. Most people, I imagine, may have burst into tears and run for the hills if faced with a similar situation, but I chose instead to stand my ground and face the situation instead. In the past, I would have probably decided to just quit, and go somewhere where I could be truly appreciated. But times are different now and really, where would that brain dead decision lead? Probably empty pockets and an extremely disappointed wife, if I had to guess.
So, in standing my ground to face the situation head on, I found myself back in Gaithersburg and doing things the Blowvance way...I tattled. In retrospect, I later realized that the appropriate way to deal with the situation would have been to take one of two options; A) Ask said manager for a moment of his time and address the concerns I had, directly relating to our interaction earlier in the day OR B) Grabbing him by his hair, dragging him to the back of the house and threatening, "If you ever speak to me like that again, I will fucking kill you!" Fine, I guess option "A" was the only practical option.
I chose to tattle, expressing my hurt feelings and exposing my mortally bruised ego, all in one breath. The result of this action is not what is important, as it only led other managers to compensate for the shortcomings of the one I found conflict with, stroking said ego, ultimately returning me to my former narcissistic self. The fact that I actually chose to tattle made me feel like a little bitch, and that is really all that is important, in the grand scheme of things. Tis the Blowvance way, to not deal with problems as they arise in a meaningful and constructive way, but rather to find the next level up or down and complain, but only after the wound has had an opportunity to fester under the surface.
The one thing I am not grateful for is how I learned to do this so well, basically through a series of manipulative acts that may as well borderline treason. The one thing I am not grateful for is how Blowvance has unequivocally prevented me from seeing the forest as well as my fellow humans for all that they truly are. I long for a balance, to enact synergy and fuse the two ways into one. Human beings are capable of just about anything and more often than not, they come programmed with an almost impenetrable wall of defense. Note that I said "almost", as time and persistence together have the uncanny ability to weaken any wall, leading ultimately to its inevitable deterioration and collapse. To quote Tom Petty, even walls fall down.
Patience is a virtue that I formerly did not possess as is timing, and both are two of the most underrated traits a person can exemplify. Far too often has a need for instant gratification taken control of my actions, only leading to the demise of desired results rather than the fruition. People need time; not everyone is as trusting and open as most of us would like to think we are. As humans, we are flawed by our experiences as much as we benefit from their lessons. Experience will always lead us to a more cynical nature, as we always assume we know what to expect in a given situation, one in which we have experienced in the past.
Many people often debate the true value of the term "Emotional Intelligence", referring to the extent to which a person, like you or I, take into consideration another person's feelings and thoughts when we attempt to communicate for whatever reason. Considering another person's feelings goes against almost all human logic, as we are all innately selfish in nature. But an argument for nurture is simply this; by self-nurturing, we can choose whether we WANT to consider the feelings of others before acting on our own behalf in the interest of only ourselves.
The battle between nature and nurture will surely rage on until the end of time, until the Father reveals to us the true existentialism of man and whether or not we truly have a choice. I believe we do, and I believe that this managed had a bit more on his plate in addition to his feelings. One's emotional state is comprised of far more than just his or her feelings. The human emotional state is comprised of many different individual emotions that are based on many external and internal factors. By mass grouping all factors present in the makeup of an emotional state, we unintentionally marginalize our emotions, creating an injustice of epic proportion.
My manager was clearly exhibiting signs of stress, an emotion that is easy to identify in more people than not. In this situation, the question of how to interpret my manager's behavior is not answered by recognizing that my manager was experiencing stress, but rather by understanding why he was stressed to begin with. To truly connect the rhyme to the reason, we need to deconstruct the emotion itself. The truest form of Emotional Intelligence is obtained only when we consider ALL events, circumstances and emotions that have led to a given point. It is this very reason that I, in view of all that has been said, humbly submit to you the term "Circumstantial Intelligence".
The term "Circumstantial Intelligence" mostly parallels “Emotional Intelligence” but takes a few more variables into account. The first is...well, I've talked for long enough; we will pick this up next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment